This is Day 18 of a 31 day series on Biblical kindness. You can find the rest of the posts here!
I have noticed something that parents, teachers, doctors, dentists, and even ministers at church have in common and it’s not pretty. Want to know what it is?
I’ve been purposefully watching adult-child interactions and I have noticed that when you listen to the these powerful adults interact with children, most of the interaction is focused on correcting behavior and discipline and very little is on modeling kind behavior.
Discipline and correction aren’t always a bad thing because as we all know, children are sinners (just like you and I) but how many times do you an adult actively praising a child for doing something good or right or kind to others?
I’m sure you’ve heard the common phrase, “Do unto others what you want them to do for you” but are we living that motto as parents, educators, and mentors? If we are constantly criticizing behavior aren’t we modeling the behavior of a criticizing person instead of someone who is kind and compassionate?
To be honest, I’m a concerned about this behavior trend. Instead of instant correction and discipline, I’ve been brainstorming a better way to teach kindness when there is a “teachable moment” as my mom always called them!
I have came up with a few questions to ask kids when they are being unkind instead of telling them what they should be doing. A few of the questions are:
- “How would that make you feel if…”
- “Look at his face. How do you think he is feeling right now?”
- “What is more important, being right or being friends?” (Sometimes it’s ok to disagree. Maintaining a good relationship might be more important!)
- Asking the other child “Are you ok?”
- Asking the other child “Would you like to play with me?”
When we start thinking of the best interest of our kids, they will start thinking of what is best for others. If we want to teach kindness we need to model kindness which means kindness has to start within us!
Raising kind children is a great goal for parents. I want to be friends with kind people and I’m sure you do, too! In order to model kindness to children, here are a few simple statements to get you started:
- “Wow! You are really great at…”
- “I can see you have worked really hard on …! Great effort this week!”
- “You have really improved…”
- “I really appreciated…”
- “I loved…”
- “Thank you so much for…”
The more specific detail you can add, the more effective it will be for the child.
One of my goals is to raise independent thinkers who are compassionate, kind, and loving to others. If we all work purposefully on what we’re saying and doing in front of our children, we can make an impact on their future!
How do you model kindness to children?
To see the other posts in this series click here.
Have you enjoyed what you read here today? Do you have friends or other women you know that could benefit from this resource? If so, please do me a favor! I have included the links below to share with other intentional women! They’ll be glad you did!