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Three Bad Habits Of Stay At Home Moms That Need To Change & Women With Intention Wednesdays #46

November 18, 2015 by Jenny 23 Comments

The longer I've stayed home, I've noticed three bad habits of stay at home moms that need to change: not feeling like they do anything, poor self-care & getting worth from technology.

I’ve been a stay at home mom for 8 years.  (Where has time gone?)

There have been moments of pure bliss and moments where I thought I might lose my mind!  All things considered, it has been one of the biggest blessings of my life and I pray to keep my title of at home mom for many years to come (Since beginning to monetize this blog with affiliate links and a few ads and running my It Works! business I guess my title has recently changed to work at home mom, but because I set my own hours it I’m still available to my kids when needed.)

The longer I’ve stayed home, I’ve noticed three bad habits of stay at home moms that need to change.

The first pattern or bad habit of stay at home moms is when asked what they do, many look down and quietly say, “I stay at home” or “Nothing…I’m a mom”.

Nothing could be farther from the truth!

I have been guilty of saying this myself!  It’s a lie!

Stay at home moms work their behinds off (not that working moms don’t…I’m just saying that stay at home moms do not sit at home and do nothing.  There is a terrible misconception that stay at home moms watch talk shows and eat candy all day!  I do not know any stay at home moms that do that.) Personally, I have never had a harder job than being at home all day with a 6 year-old, two 1-year-olds, and a newborn!  Talk about being tired!  I’m not sure how I survived that period of my life but am so thankful for the opportunity.

The second bad pattern I’ve noticed about stay at home moms is they have a hard time doing anything for themselves, including simple self-care!  Simple things such as a shower, eating healthy food, and going on a date become nearly impossible.

Personally, after taking care of everyone else’s needs, it was hard for me to take time for myself (and this is sometimes still the case).

It is not healthy to care for everyone else without taking time to take care of yourself.  When mom is worn out, stressed to the max, and taking care of everyone else, life can unravel quickly.

Self-care is so important!  My lack of self-care is what inspired me to begin the free monthly self-care calendars that I post each month.  It is also what inspired me to create this blog.

The last bad habit of stay at home moms that I’ve noticed (and this is also true among working moms) is that many are getting their value and self-worth from technology.

How many times do you see a mom at the park and instead of playing or watching her kids, she’s checking Facebook on her phone?  (I’m not bashing, I’ve been guilty of this, too).  I don’t think that checking Twitter or Pinterest is a bad thing but when we are “living” through our personal accounts instead of interacting with real people (including our families) we have picked up a bad habit that needs to go!

Getting our value from social media is dangerous because most people post their “bests” on social media, not real life struggles or even the majority of how their day has went.  When moms compare their day with spilled milk, blow out diapers, and crying babies to another mom with a baby smiling in designer clothes it’s very hard to be content with life.

It’s important to support all moms and encourage real relationships, self-care, and to build each other up.  Being a mom is difficult.  When we build each other up, we each contribute to ending the mommy wars!
Welcome to Women With Intention Wednesdays, where you come encourage one another and share your best posts to help women live their lives with intention!

Welcome to Women With Intention Wednesdays!

Welcome back to another great week of community building and support for one another!  I’m so glad you are here and I hope you enjoy this week’s featured post and blogger!

It_Is_What_It_Is-large-1024x768This week’s most popular post is from Bethany at FIRSTandSECONDblog with her post It Is(n’t) What It Is (Photo from: www.armstrongeconomics.com)!  I loved this post.  My Grandmother uses the phrase, “it is what it is” all the time and I’ve come to despise it because it takes any ownership from the situation.  I loved how Bethany turned that phrase towards God.  Check it out!

Thank you all for giving me such great posts to read each week! Keep them coming!

Here is what you will find at Women With Intention Wednesdays:

  • This is a link up party where you come to encourage one another, have fun, and share your best posts to help women live their best life!
  • In other words, any post that you have written about Christian living, homemaking, relationships, healthy living, living a frugal life or that helps another woman can be included in this link up! Please just them family friendly (I reserve the right to remove anything that I feel isn’t appropriate).
  • This link up is beneficial for every woman! Whether you are a blogger or a reader, this is one you won’t want to miss! I’m very excited to offer this link up as a place to not only build new relationships between bloggers but also by providing an awesome resource of information for my readers!

Here are the rules of this link up:

  1. You must link directly to your post (no homepages, please).
  2. Please link up no more than 2 posts each week and please do not link up the same post week after week.
  3. For every link you add, please visit the link before you and one other of your choice. If your links are consecutive visit the blogger before you and your choice for the 2nd link. It’s impossible to build relationships when no one communicates! Please don’t link and run!

  4. By linking up you give me permission to share your posts and photos on this blog and social media. Each week I will choose a featured post. I will only feature and pin your post if you have followed the rules. All features will be linked back to the original source.
  5. You also give me permission to email you a quick reminder that the party is live. You may opt out anytime. I don’t spam my readers with emails.
  6. Answer the community building question below so we all get to know each other! That’s the purpose of being here! 🙂

In order to help grow this community with great posts and relationships, I would love it if you would add the party button to your sidebar, your blog directory page, or a text link at the bottom of your post. This isn’t required to participate in the link-up but I would really appreciate it!

Women With Intention
 

If you were featured be sure to grab a button for your site! Thank you for linking up and sharing your great posts!

 Women With Intention

 [inlinkz_linkup id=583267 mode=1]

Community building questions of the week: Black Friday is approaching! Do you shop? Do you stay home and shop online? Do you avoid completely?

I used to go every year with my mom, aunts, and Grandmother.  It was a fun tradition that we did together.  If we got what we were after, great!  If not, it was not a big deal.  The crowds were never that horrible and we had a lot of fun!  We haven’t done that in a few years.  I’ve gotten where I prefer to sleep in, shop online for a few great deals, and enjoy the day putting up our Christmas tree with the kids and having family time.

Filed Under: Parenting, Putting Yourself First (Self-Care), Women With Intention Wednesdays

Comments

  1. Susan Shipe says

    November 18, 2015 at 4:35 AM

    Hi Jen! Have you had a chance to make the button a little smaller? It is way too big for my sidebar! ;(

    Reply
    • Susan Shipe says

      November 18, 2015 at 4:40 AM

      Jen, cancel request. I did it!

      Reply
  2. Bethany says

    November 18, 2015 at 6:12 AM

    Hi Jenny! Great points here! Thanks again!

    Also -avoiding it as usual. Tried it once. So much mayhem.

    Reply
  3. Michele Morin says

    November 18, 2015 at 7:36 AM

    Thanks for the shout out to SAHM’s!
    As for Black Friday . . . if I could avoid going to any store from now until sometime in January when the mayhem dies down, I would.

    Reply
    • Jenny says

      November 18, 2015 at 10:48 AM

      I enjoy your perspective on avoid all shopping! 🙂 Thanks for linking up!

      Reply
  4. Sarah says

    November 18, 2015 at 7:40 AM

    Hi Jenny! Thanks so much for the great post. I’m stay-at-home as well, so I love gaining insights from other moms. Also thanks for hosting the link party and giving us all a chance to share our work. It’s very much appreciated!

    Reply
    • Jenny says

      November 18, 2015 at 10:48 AM

      You are welcome! Thanks for linking up! 🙂

      Reply
  5. Brenda says

    November 18, 2015 at 8:35 AM

    Well said. 🙂 I’ve been home now for 21 years. We homeschool too, so it’s gone well beyond their preschool years. I’ve never cared for the term “Stay-at-home-mom.” (It seems to have a lazy’ish sound to it, so I’ve never enjoyed saying it.) When we think about it…every mom is a work-at-home-mom. Some with financial benefits (like you 🙂 ), and others not, but, we all sure do work hard. I agree, it’s the hardest job I’ve ever done. So worth it though. 🙂 Thanks for sharing. ((blessings))

    Reply
  6. Sarah Travis says

    November 18, 2015 at 9:27 AM

    Thank you for speaking truth and encouragement Jenny! As a, Lord willing, future SAHM I am already preparing my heart and mind with this kind of knowledge!

    Reply
  7. Jess says

    November 18, 2015 at 11:03 AM

    We always have a Thanksgiving on Friday too, so we never go out and shop. But sometimes we do online shopping. It’s crazy how so many place do it so early now though. I feel like last year I did my Black Friday shopping BEFORE Thanksgiving! 🙂 Also, those are great points about being a stay-at-home mom. I’m new to this gig (I’m a mom to 3 kids but I’m only been completely stay at home for 1 year). It’s hard! I think self-care/worth is the hardest. I actually wrote about my struggles in this week’s post! Thanks for hosting! -Jess, Sweet Little Ones

    Reply
  8. Gayl says

    November 18, 2015 at 12:23 PM

    I was a stay at home mom for many years. I still stay at home but my kids are all grown. I can really identify with your thoughts. If I could go back I would make sure I took time for more self-care. Like you said we are so busy caring for everyone else that our needs are pushed aside. We shouldn’t feel guilty for taking time caring for ourselves even though we are tempted to do so. If we are cared for we can be more prepared to care for others. Blessings to you!

    Reply
    • Jenny says

      November 18, 2015 at 1:30 PM

      Thanks, Gayl! I hope to “grow up” to be you! Kids still need their moms after they’re grown. I’m very lucky both my mom and my husband’s mother are close and very involved with our kids. Plus, I love being home. :).

      Reply
  9. Bonnie Lyn Smith, Espressos of Faith says

    November 18, 2015 at 2:46 PM

    I shop online. I feel so drained by traffic and crowds. I want Matthew 11:28-30 rest. 🙂

    Reply
  10. Lindsay says

    November 18, 2015 at 2:48 PM

    Thanks for such a fun link party! Found some awesome projects that I want to do this weekend, now I just need to find more TIME this weekend 🙂

    Reply
  11. Angela @ Setting My Intention says

    November 18, 2015 at 7:00 PM

    I very rarely enjoy shopping! But I save up my bigger purchases for Black Friday and Cyber Monday. I usually do all the shopping online though. In the past I’ve purchased a Dyson, comforters, sheets, and this year we’re trying to snag a flat screen for a good price.

    Reply
  12. Debbie W. says

    November 19, 2015 at 6:29 PM

    I am a stay at home Nannah. HA! I worked outside the home as a Mom. It was tough with a 45 min drive both ways and 10 hour days. Now I keep grandsons two days a week and get very little done. It’s hard to get dinner done and it’s hard to wash sheets and get them on the bed. I get them washed but too busy watching the boys to get them on the bed. I am so glad though to be a stay-at-hone Nannah. It’s so much easier than working and rushing home.

    Reply
  13. Summer says

    November 23, 2015 at 3:42 PM

    I just love your blog so much! I definitely need to “hold my head up” when I talk about the honor of being home with my littles. There truly is NOTHING I would rather be doing but I always get awkward talking about it because many people don’t get it and also, I don’t want to make mamas who have to work feel guilty. But I think celebrating our differences and all the ways God uses us where we are at is key (including my own life!). Thanks for another great post! xoxo

    Reply
    • Jenny says

      November 28, 2015 at 8:54 AM

      I have felt the same way, Summer! Your job is the most important though, don’t forget how important you are to your family 🙂

      Reply

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Hello! I’m Jenny!

I'm a wife, a mom of 6 and daughter of the King. I love my chocolate, cute cloth diapers, DIY and self-improvement projects, and curling up with a great book!

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