Guest post from Laura of Short And Sweet Moments
I’ve been struggling with how I look in my swim suit. It’s strange to say it, because in the past, my body was one of “those” bodies that just seemed to stay slim and trim all by itself. But now when I get into the swimming pool, with my postpartum body, I find myself quietly cursing each mom who can truly sport a bikini. The sight of a slender, fit, and tight tummy, just seems to rub it in all the more that I’ve failed to get my body back after pregnancy.
With both my pregnancies I gained 40+ pounds. It seemed that just looking at food put the pounds on. After my first baby was born, the fat just melted off. Then, after my second baby, every pound was a fight to lose. Finally, after a year, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight. And then I put 15 pounds right back on. I had never struggled with weight before, and now the scale was taunting me.
In the three years since my youngest was born, I’ve been on a huge learning curve as I’ve struggled to lose weight and maintain a healthy weight. I’ve been learning how to care for my new body, as well as accept my new curves.
Here are a couple of things I’ve learned about my new body:
1. Find Ways To Move! I’ve always been a very active person, and in the past, I’ve had more physically intense jobs. So my body was able to maintain a healthy weight more easily. While having kids is still a physical job, I’m in a house most of the time. I’m getting down to change a diaper, getting up to rescue a crying toddler, getting down to clean a mess on the floor. But this doesn’t burn calories like hiking around a college campus and then running around a retail store. I’ve learned that I have to keep my activity level up in some way, whether that is exercising, taking the kids for a walk, choosing to do extra laps at the grocery store, or all of the above.
2. Be careful with the calories. Since my activity level isn’t as high as it used to be, I have to be more thoughtful about what I eat. I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. But now, I think about what I’m eating at each meal and about how much a healthy portion is. When I was really getting serious about losing some weight, I used My Fitness Pal for a few days to track my calories. Wow! When I thought I wasn’t eating that much, I was totally exceeding my daily calorie intake. Calories add up fast, and I have to be careful that I’m eating smaller portions.
3. Acceptance and Grace. When it took me over a year to lose my pregnancy weight, I felt like a failure every time I looked in the mirror. All I could see were the pounds I had failed to lose. I was doing my best to work out and eat well, but it just seemed like the weight was glued on. I pinched my fat constantly, hoping that somehow it would have disappeared since the last time I checked.
Now, two years after I lost my pregnancy weight, I wish I hadn’t been so hard on myself. Beating myself up didn’t help matters any. And now that I’m down the road a bit, I can see that in the light of eternity, that weight I stressed over so much wasn’t worth the stress. Yes, it was important for me to make the effort to be healthy. But it wasn’t worth stressing over. I needed to give myself the grace to do my best, and let the rest go.
While I’m at a healthy weight now, I’m not super model thin, and I definitely don’t feel comfortable in a bikini. I used to always be the skinny girl, and I was at peace with my body. Now, I’m not among the tiniest moms, and there are frequently moms with a 12 or 24 month old child who is more slender than I am with my 3-year-old son. It’s easy for me to feel like a failure for this.
I really appreciate what Rachel Jankovic says about his in her book “Loving The Little Years.” She shares “[O]ur bodies are tools, not treasures. You should not spend your days trying to preserve your body in its eighteen-year-old form. Let it be used….Motherhood is what your stomach was made for-any wear and tear that it shows is simply the sign of a well-used tool.”
I can most definitely spend time on myself to look good. But when I don’t measure up to the world’s standard of beauty, that’s okay too. I don’t have the time to work out like I would need to lose a few more pounds. That’s okay! I’m taking care of precious human beings. I may not be shopping in the petite department. That’s okay, my body is still healthy.
I just want you to know that you are beautiful.
When I was really struggling to lose my pregnancy weight, I was desperate to hear someone say that I was still beautiful. I felt so ugly with the extra pounds. And in the world’s eyes, I wasn’t all the pretty. But as God’s creation, I was beautiful. God made me special with unique talents and gifts to give to the world. My value is not weighed on the scale. Your value is not estimated by your scale. My value is established by the God who created me. Your value is established by God who created you. And you are wonderfully and beautifully made.
Accept the new you. Be healthy, but don’t stress about yourself or your weight. It’s not worth it. Besides, you are amazing already.
Have you struggled with your body after having kids, a surgery or other health problem? Have you realized that you are already amazing? Laura is so right about that! 🙂
Meet Laura! Laura is a wife and mom who loves the Rocky Mountains, hiking, camping, writing, crafting, and caring for her family. She blogs over at Short and Sweet Moments where she encourages women who need a bit of refreshment in their daily life.
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