In 2006, I found out I was pregnant with my second child. After 2 years of trying, I was ecstatic. After experiencing complications with my first pregnancy, I was so discouraged. My heart yearned for this unborn bundle of joy.
At my first appointment my numbers were a little lower than ideal. That happened during my pregnancy with Maddie so I was cautiously optimistic. My doctor told me to take it easy and I went home feeling nervous but so elated that the baby was healthy.
A week later I started spotting and rushed back into the clinic to find out that yes, I was miscarrying.
I was devastated. The weeks that followed were a blur. I took at week off from work because I couldn’t quit crying. I knew I still had to parent my beautiful 3-year-old daughter but I could barely function.
Women carry wounds that no one ever seen. I recently saw a post on Facebook that a person who has lost their spouse is a widow but there’s no word for a parent who has lost a child.
October is “Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness” month. Loss of a child hurts, whether the child was in the womb, in adolescence it is a club that no parent wants to be in. However, statistics show 1 in 4 women have suffered still birth, miscarriage, or loss of an infant so there are more of us in this club than you may have thought.
Many women don’t talk about their loss because honestly it’s too painful to talk about. Even though mine happened 9 years ago, my heart still aches. The loss of a child leaves a scar on your heart forever. I see my friends with children that have children the age mine would have been and it reminds me.
It’s hard for others to talk about because they don’t want to upset the parents who have lost their precious children, leaving everyone feeling uncomfortable.
Today is October 15th which has become the “day of remembrance” for these children. Light a candle at 7 P.M. to remember these children who were taken far too soon. You can also take part in the Wave of Light 2015 on Facebook.
Today I’m praying for all of you parents who are in the same heartbreaking situation I’m in, where you never got to meet your child but your heart still aches. I’m praying for those of you whose baby was born asleep, and you went home empty and broken. I’m praying for those of you who would give anything to hug, kiss, and tell your child that you love them. Today is a day to come together, heal, celebrate your child’s life, and educate others.
June says
Thank you for sharing your heart, Jenny. Bless you.
Katie says
hugs to you Jenny. Even with the 5 I have in my arms I still ache for the ones in my heart. I am so glad that this subject has been brought forward and no longer having to be kept secret. When I started miscarrying my first I searched and searched for any info long into the night, as I couldn’t sleep, and little was to be found. I hope now other women having to go thru this can find more. I still remember both doctor appointments like they were yesterday. Thinking of you and miss you
Jenny says
That’s how I feel, too! 🙂 Hugs, friend!
TheBargainBabe says
Our baby boy was stillborn 6 years ago and my heart still aches too. It will until I get to heaven and have him back in my arms.
xoxo
You aren’t alone.
Jenny says
I’m so sorry! There are many of us out there! Prayers, friend!