It is well known that women have a lot of influence on our men. That can be a good thing, and it can also be a very bad thing! As wives, we can inspire and build up our husbands with our words, or wound them to the point of giving up or shutting us out completely. It is up to us which way to go.
My goal as an intentional wife is to build up my husband. I find that when I do this, great things happen for him and for me! In our ever busy world of parenting kids, working, and running a home many husbands get put at the end of our list instead of at the top where they belong.
In order to help you (and myself) intentionally and presently focus on our men, here is a short list of ways to build up our men that take less than 5 minutes to do. If we can’t put our husbands on top of the list for 5 minutes each day, our priorities are way out of line and we need to really take a look at what is most important to us! Here are 5 ways to build up your man taking less than 5 minutes:
- When your husband walks in the door, stop, and acknowledge that he is home. Smile at him, give him a big kiss and tell him how much you have missed him or that you are glad he is home! Make him feel happy to come home! Women tend to unload everything that has happened in the entire day within the first 3 minutes of our husbands walking in the door. Save that for later after he has wound down from the day and had a nice kiss from you! I bet he will be a better listener after a little relaxation!
- Express your gratitude to him for a sacrifice he has made to better the family. Examples could be working long hours to benefit the family or not participating in a hobby in order to spend more time with the family. Our husbands work hard for our families. By giving them some appreciation you make them proud to do it for you! Verbal praise is many men’s favorite way of getting respect from their wives!
- When he is talking to you, stop what you are doing to fully participate in the conversation. Women tend to be multi-taskers but that doesn’t mean we always are listening while we are doing something else. Your husband deserves the best of you! Look him in the eye, lean in and let him know you are focused on him. Be present in your conversations!
- Instead of focusing on the things you don’t like about him, compliment him on those that you love. Be genuine! Sometimes it can be difficult to overlook the downfalls but by building him up, he will be more likely to want to be on your team instead of against it!
- Remind him that out of everyone else, he is still your favorite and you are proud to be his wife. Men crave respect. By giving him some, he will want to be the man that you deserve and want.
What is your favorite way of building up your man? I challenge you do intentionally do something on this list (or a combination) for a week without saying anything to your man about why you are doing it and see what happens between the two of you! I’d love to hear the results!
Great list! I admit, I struggle with #1 – not the unloading part, but actually stopping whatever I’m doing and giving HIM a few minutes to unload! But he’s told me many times what a difference it makes to him, so it’s definitely worth working on (why is it so hard, anyway?).
Visiting from TWW’s link-up… have a wonderful day!
Great list! I have been making an effort recently to build my husband up. As bloggers we are always in tune to our online social media and our to-do lists. When I watch TV with my husband, I try to put my cell phone down and enjoy the show. It’s hard but marriage is work. All relationships are. Men do crave respect. So true. Visiting from Mommy Monday Blog Hop!
What wonderful ideas. Personally I make sure to hug my husband everyday. They have proven that hugging for 30 seconds releases those “feel good” chemicals in the body. I highly recommend finding 10 or 15 minutes a day to just cuddle. We instituted this in our marriage about 3 months ago and it has made a tremendous difference for us. We both look forward to that time each day and we get into some really good conversations during that time that doesn’t involve household stuff or bills.
This is a wonderful list! I am trying to work on #1 a lot more…sometimes I forget that he has had a day outside of our home and I need to give him that time he needs without dumping my entire day on him.
Number 1 was so hard before similar advice was given and applied. My amazing pyschologist told me to allow my husband to decompress from his day and then he should allow me to do the same. It has literally transformed our evenings together.
I love this list, such a great reminder! Thanks for sharing at the Anything Goes Link-Up. I am featuring this post at this week’s linky: http://www.joyfocusedlearning.com/2014/02/anything-goes-link-up-11.html 🙂
Awesome! Thanks!
Wonderful list! I know I struggle with not multitasking. I try … But I catch myself doing it again and again!
Wonderful post. Pinned and am featuring at Family Fun Friday.
http://www.happyandblessedhome.com/2014/02/family-fun-friday-week-55.html
Monica
Thanks so much! 🙂
Fabulous List!! I have been so blessed to have lovely husband-honoring ladies in my life at every turn in my marriage journey. I have to say that #4 is definitely the one I struggle with the most, but I do feel the Lord helping me more and more with it over the last year.
Thanks for posting! I saw you on Walking Redeemed Wednesday Link Up!
Great ideas!
This is a great list! Thank you!
This was a great list! Thank you!
I’m good at most of these! The third one, though, not so much… 🙁
Great list. #s 1 and 3 are really important to my husband!
Thanks Rosilind! I enjoy your link-up each week! 🙂
Excellent ideas. Even after years of trying to remember this, I always come back to working on #1 . . . in the middle of dinner prep and kid chaos I really do need to STOP and SMILE to welcome him home rather than merely acknowledge with a quick kiss and turn back to whatever is happening.
The other bonus of doing this for me, at least, is that it relaxes me when I’m stressed out! 🙂
#5 made me smile because often, out of the blue, I will say to my husband, “You know what? You’re my favorite!” 🙂
It’s so good to take a moment for our husbands, and so easy to forget to do! I’ll admit that I can neglect paying even a little attention to my husband at times, letting my own life and distractions take over. This is a good starting area to get back on track!
This is excellent advice and reminds me of a great book I read over and over many years ago (feminists beware) called Fascinating Womanhood. Growing up in a partly liberal household, it helped me to realize that the “old fashioned” woman that was lurking down deep inside of me was in fact biblically correct!
These are ALL so good! Thank you. I will take these to heart.
What a lovely article. I would consider myself a feminist but I think the article is great. What I have learned is that yes, women sometimes need to (gracefully, confidently) fight for respect in the world. But men also need to be loved and cherished! It is in fact ‘patriarchal’ to insist that men don’t have emotional needs. What a magical place when men and women can bring their whole selves to the table to love, respect and support each other. Some articles advise women to compromise core traits in themselves to satiate their man’s ego. That is not helpful. But it is always helpful to treat your man with true compassion and love. It’s a learning process, but the tips above seem very wholesome to me.
I am new to your blog and this post caught my eye. I am a newlywed and also full time stepmom. And as I struggle with all the “newness” I sometimes forget about some of these. My husband is wonderful and I want to make sure he always knows I never take him for granted. Thank you for these examples in showing him how blessed I am for having him in my life.
Thanks for your sweet words! 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
I just subscribed to your newsletter. Thank you for this post that appeared when I confirmed. I’m having a hard time with #3. I am a multi-tasker at all hours of the day and I really need to stop what I’m doing for him. He really does think I’m not paying attention to him. Thank you for posting this. Have a blessed week.
Thanks for the kind words! 🙂 Have a wonderful week!