Do you know someone who likes to argue about everything, has to always be right, tends to be a complainer, and makes many situations uncomfortable simply because they can’t seem to keep their mouth shut? This person always thinks that no matter what their view point is- it is right, is judgmental, and often insults people without even knowing it.
Do you like being around this person?
The holidays are approaching, which means meals with the extended family. Every year it seems like there is at least one controversial topic brought up at the dinner table. You know, those topics (abortion, Republican or Democrat, gay marriage, terrorism, or religion) where everyone has an opinion and at least two of the family members get in an argument. Usually by the end of the meal one person is either mad or upset and it disrupts the rest of the day?
Being right isn’t always best. Being right has caused many disagreements, extra stress, and ended relationships, all because of a needed ego stroke. There have been many times that I wish I had just kept my mouth shut. Which is more important? Being right or being happy?
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;” James 1:19 ESV
“When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” Proverbs 10:19 ESV
I’m not saying you have to disregard your feelings or beliefs. Many times in an argument there is a gray area, where neither party is exactly right or wrong. When you look to understand the other person, and put yourself in their shoes, you may not 100% agree with them but you can understand where they’re coming from and choose to respect their feelings.
Consider why you are desiring to be right. Is it because you want to be in control? Ouch! Be honest! Many times our stubborn personalities will not look past our feelings and admit we are control freaks with a big ego! It is hard to “let them win” when you are a competitive person. However, that is your ego talking and chances are by backing off, you aren’t really “letting” them win. YOU are winning because you haven’t damaged a relationship, caused yourself extra stress (or extra stress to those around you), and you will end up being happier.
Is it really “right” of me to criticize Jason after he dresses the kids for a day at home and they don’t match? (Keep in mind he is partially color blind where purples and blues look the same and it’s hard to tell different shades of colors!) Of course it’s not! Even if he wasn’t color blind, our relationship is worth more than clothing choices! By nagging at him, I hurt his feelings, cause him frustration over the color-blindness (which he has no control of) and stresses everyone in our house out! Wouldn’t it have been better to thank him for helping me and simply leave it at that? By criticizing him, he definitely will not want to help with that task again. So by having to be “right” I end up losing in the end.
How many moms have criticized the way their husbands diapered their baby? As long as the diaper wasn’t leaking, did it REALLY matter? How many husbands want to volunteer for that job again after being ridiculed? I wouldn’t!
Is it really “right” of a Christian woman to go to church, have some fellowship, and then gossip to her husband on the way home to make herself feel better?
Is it really “right” tohave an argument with a friend over who is better at disciplining their children when it leaves the relationship damaged beyond repair?
Which person are you- right or happy? If you are happy, how do you deal with those people who have that need to be right?
Have you enjoyed what you read here today? Do you have friends or other women you know that could benefit from this resource? If so, please do me a favor! I have included the links below to share with other intentional women! They’ll be glad you did!